Friday, November 26, 2010

 So you know the other day when I said that I had all my Crimbo shopping sorted out? Well I didn’t lie, I do have it all sorted out.
But, er,  you know how there’s always 1 or 2 … sometimes 3 or 4 more people that you’ve somehow forgotten off the list and would still really like to buy pressies for? Well, that’s my excuse.

And I’ve been panicking a little because …
a)   I’m running out of money. Very fast.

b)   I’m running out of time – we leave in about three weeks for Le France, and unfortunately the farmers market only happens on Saturdays, all the way up the hill … and the I Heart Market only happens on the 4th … and I’m busy that day … and I’m running out of time … and what will I do … and where am I supposed to get those extra gifts from … and how can I afford to … BREATHE!!!!!!!

Thanks to the clever bunnies at the I Heart Market … All is not lost

Thursday, November 25, 2010

All I want for Christmas is:

- To learn how to draw nice
- The balls to buy, wear and love a nice pair of pretty red heels
- Some snow
- The will to eat more tuna.
- A day off   
- oh, and of course … World Peace   

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


If I wasn’t busy setting up and getting kitted out in my Jane Fonda Aerobics Revival outfit for the little sisters 21st, and if I still drank coffee – then I would definitely be going to this! Always nice to do exercise outdoors – and when it’s for a good cause – it’s even more appealing! So get involved folks. Pretty please.

Truck Branding

Woolies – for a change - have it right.
The branding of their mobile billboards (more commonly known as trucks) is witty, cool, and a very apparent market leader – as you see all the other plebs trying so very hard to keep up.

I wish I worked for Woolies, and I wish I had come up with those lines.
*          Travelling Wildberries copy line with an image of a goose and rasp and straw berries
*          Milk Shake copy line with an image of milked splashed across the canvas
*          Hot Wheels copy line with an image of some fresh and hot looking chillies
*         and other really cool ones

Enter Pick N’ Pay. Ag shame man, poor Pick N’ Pay.
I’d like to give them credit for at least attempting to do a good job at their truck branding, but … I can’t. Everyday I look out my office window and without fail I see a Pick N’ Pay truck passing by. And I’m not sure if it’s the same truck every time or it they just have a lot of them with this exact branding on it, but … Mr. Ray Ackerman, I thought you were a smart man. Why in the world did you approve a truck that says: Inspired To Bring You Variety” and then let them plaster a picture of a giant kiwi fruit next to it. What in the name of Ceres does kiwi fruit have to do with variety? Hello?! Would the obvious thing not have been to use a … wait for it … VARIETY of fruit as an image. Honestly people. Advertising is tricky … but the basics are not rocket science! Even I know that

I couldn't find a picture of this wretched truck to show you - so I drew a picture instead.
Hope you like it.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

An Ode To The Bestest

I think it's important, if not absolutely bloody life-changingly-vital that  everyone should have a really close friend. Someone who knows you inside and out, upside and down, and more often than not … better than you actually know yourself.

I have one of those. And in this time of need – a.k.a the time I’m busy planning a wedding on my own – I miss her more than anything, and selfishly need her here with me instead of gallivanting all across the bloody seas. But … I must admit I am very proud of my bestest. She's so clever, and self-sufficient, and brave, and strong-willed, and eagerly entrepreneurial, that it's inspiring. And while we may not stay in touch as often as we’d like, or should, and our lives may have taken very different dirt paths, and we may be an un-countable number of centimeters away from each other … I still feel like when I say something: she gets it. So it’s almost as if we don’t need to talk that often anyway because we already understand?!

No … that last bit is crap. I want her home right this instant so we can talk often and share moments, and grow old together. But in the meantime, I guess this will just have to do. This is what the bestest had to say today:

"Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears. In the end that's all there is...Love and its duty, Sorrow and its truth."
                                                                  -Shantaram by Greggory David Roberts

Friday, November 19, 2010

It's Official

My weekend …. She has begun.

It’s 2:38pm on a Friday afternoon and as per client service uselessness, we’ve just been briefed on urgent job. They need us to come up with an idea for one of our big fancy clients. It needs to be a postcard (BORING) that informs their bigger, fancier clients that their address has changed.

Plastering “We’ve Moved” onto a visual of a brown cardboard box just doesn’t seem like we tried hard enough … so we’re lubricating our creative juices and giving it another shot! Should be fun.

See you next week


Picture this:

You’re walking along, minding your own business.
All of a sudden you come across this beautifully white, blank wall.
And then, like magic, out of thin air, a Stabilo OH Permanent Marker Pen pops up right in front of you, bobbing in the air, calling you to take it.

What would you write?


The below paragraph makes me think 2 things:

1)    If my nose is going to grow long like Pinocchio’s, because there’s no chance in a caramel popcorn snow storm that I’m stepping one foot onto that boat. What makes you think I’d want to spend my Saturday morning wrenching my guts out over the side just for the fishies to eat and the boys to catch? Oh no siree. I’ll be the little dot on the sand, waving from the comfort of my beach towel and brollie! Which the fee-arn-say will no doubt have to put up before he  goes out for his 4 hour trawl. Did I say trawl, I meant jol!  

2)    I need to start planning my OWN engagement party. Dammit man. There is just something so manic about the end of the year that we never even have time to notice what we’re doing let alone find an evening that isn’t already booked up with a family pre-Christmas dinners, office parties, or Bookclub Bash and Thrashes. It’s tough being so gosh-darn-popular.

Shit, there goes the nose again!

HELLO Friday

It’s been a long and pretty character-bashing week. So I’m really very happy that today is the final day of it. 80’s revival party this evening, followed by a morning on the fee-arn-says new fishing boat in the bay, and a celebration with a close friends on their engagement.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Crimbo Curse

Ok, I’ll admit it. It’s a bit excessive.
Decorating your office plant life may be a tiny little step too far when it comes to getting into the Christmas spirit. But as far as I’m concerned it’s only the start!  Seeing as though we’ll me missing out on a Locally Lekker South African Christmas this year (more on this to come) I figured I have every right to start a little bit (too) early.

Hence the yaka plant that looks like it got pooped on by a glitter machine!
HO HO HO … Watch Me Go!!!  

P.S and another picture of my desk , looking very much more like someone is using it! YAY

Just been goony-googling some information on hot sauces to add to a recipe I’m writing … blah blah
boring … and I came across all these really great Tabasco adverts. Clever little brand this is.

It’s only a matter of time before someone gets really creative and does an ad for Tabasco that has some kind of toilet humour in it. Let’s not be prudes here, but let’s not be crude either … it’s just that everyone knows that the infamous Ring Sting is a common side effect of the hot stuff.

I can picture it now, a poor little innocent bog roll heading for a fiery death. Anyone got any cool ideas?

Monday, November 15, 2010

How Do You Keep An Idiot In Suspense?

I’ll tell you tomorrow

Letters To Monday

Oooh, I am not enjoying today. 
Not for any reason in particular, but just because it so abruptly put an end to my weekend of lazy cocktail sipping
 and exclusive Sandton City (mostly window) shopping. 

So in an attempt to vent it all out and let Monday know exactly how I feel about it – I wrote these:

My original notes were a bit too rude and angry-like, and I thought that perhaps someone would want to pinch one or two for their own Anti-Monday Mumblings, so I toned them down a bit. Actually, looking at them now, they're extremely soft ... but that's only because Monday got involved 
and took all the fun out of it! 

Thursday, November 11, 2010

If I  When I’m filthy, gorgeously, stinky rich, our holiday home in Mexico is going to look something like this:

I’m loving the white wash of the whole place and the way the edges have all been rounded off. It makes you feel all warm and sun kissed just looking at it, right.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Speaking Of Plan B ... Meet The B Team

because short men need heroes too

Today's Thought

Last night I was feeling a little anxious about coming back to work today. Maybe it was all the wine, and whiskey, and ciders mixed together. Or maybe it was the final acknowledgement of a hazy and distracted head full of nothingness as a result of these past two weeks. Whatever it was, I was feeling very low about my ability as a writer, thought starter, creative copy kid and ideas person … I felt like I had and am, losing my ability to think on my toes. There’s no worse feeling than feeling inadequate. Especially at the one thing you’re meant to be the best at. Shit man, am I bad at my job? I could be. I feel like I am. But …  maybe (ad hopefully) it IS the result of a whole bunch of outside consequences that are making me so distracted and uninspired. Let’s give it a week or two, and if I’m not incredibly talented by then … we’ll have to draw up a really serious plan B

So without much further ado:
Today’s thought is brought to you by my favourite genius: Seth Godin.

Terrible Tuesday

Yesterday was Calvin’s funeral. 
Tomorrow is Hassie’s 21st.  
And today is Tuesday – the day for my hair to develop a mind of its friggin' own.

I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that today, my hair looks like this:

Ok maybe I am exaggerating. Her hair, although wild and messy, is nicely styled and somewhat pretty.
Mine on the other hand, is loud, obnoxious, and has chewed it's way through two hair bands already.

Why? Well, you see, we stayed up the hill at my moms place last night, so this morning I had to use hair soap. And that’s what happens when you leave the overnight bag packing to the fee-arns-ay. Of course he left the shampoo and conditioner behind. In fact, he pretty much left everything behind. 

Thanks of the loan of your undies ma. Much appreciated. 

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Why We Hate Scarlett


1.    She married Van Wilder. Stupid cow.

2.    Young, untainted and as natural as they come - we used to look up to Scarlett for her stand on skinny. She could act, she could sing, and heck, even Woody Allen adored her in all his wonderful arty movies ... for the exact reason that she wasn’t a rickets with fake bo-tox lips. Oh no siree – she was lady naturale for sure!

Past tense!

Although utterly gorgeous, I must admit that I’m a little saddened by her transformation in the new Mango Campaign. But hey, what can you do. I guess everyone feels pressured at some stage in their life.


Remember Tintin

What a daft question.
Of course you remember Tintin. What I meant to say was, remember how cool Tintin was.
No … also a daft remark. Ok forget it.

Just know, that Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson are in the process of making a movie: 
The Adventures Of Tintin & The Secret Of The Unicorn.

I’m thrilled. 
So thrilled in fact that if I ever have a son, I’m going to call him Spielberg.

And yes of course it is 3D ... remember I warned you about 3D and its swift world take-over ...  


It's almost here people.
And would you believe me if I told you that I'm almost done with my gift shopping. I started way back in April already. I know ... I'm clever that way. There are still a few little tit bits I’d like to get and with the rising market culture here in Durban (and South Africa) I doubt I’ll have any trouble there. And the best part of it all – I won’t have to step foot into a sweaty, scary, over-priced mall monster.

I’m away I the Berg this weekend but if you’re here in town then pop of to the I heart. There’s so much of prettiness on those tables. And it’s nice and quick too, so pop in for half an hour and then get back to your other weekend plans. M’kay!


Monday, November 1, 2010

My new best friend (read: a new work colleague who rocks!) has this very snobby and exclusive fetish and love for good quality shoes. She’s a Country Road walking advert and frowns upon anything that isn’t from the Woolworths stable of brands. Including food.

She’s really great though and I love her my-way-or-the-lonely-highway attitude where she tells it like it is. Or at least, how she wants it to be.

Her love for shoes however has me cringing every morning as I look for something to dress my floppy, not quite size 6 but not really size 7 feet of mine. Here’s why:

*           My favourite golden sandals were great 6 years ago when I bought them.  Now, with the soles running away from each other and the straps hanging on by an Indian silk thread, they’re no longer so nice to look at.

*           All 3 of my high heels have no heels. Because I walk funny when I’m pissed.

*           I’ve never really felt it necessary to spend more than R200 on a pair of shoes when they end up looking like shite anyway, because … er, like I said … I walk funny when I’m pissed. So there's nothing fancy or chic, or sexy about ANY of the shoes I own

*           Throughout my entire working career, I’ve never needed to sell myself through my feet. Thank heavens for that. But it’s always been my brain that got the job done – so again, I’ve never felt the need to spend money on something I was going to destroy anyway. And besides, I wouldn't even be able to get the tax man to pay me back if I DID own a pair of expensive shoes

Let's just say I get a little bit nervous when I come to work these days - and make a dash
for the safety of my desk before anyone sees my DIY-paint job and miserable choice of 

So to avoid further embarrassment I’m going to start investing in my long and lanky
little footsie wootsies. Starting with a brand new pair of the gorgeous and refreshingly 
different Sweet P sandals. 

Designed and made by local girl Stacey Peinke, you can find a range of beautiful
colours and beading right here on her website. They are flipping cool and so
reasonably priced too. Not to mention they’ll go with anything you wear. 
Ok maybe not a meat dress, but almost anything!